Ever have one of those days where it feels like the world is against you? Where you have a feeling of impending doom? Where you want to crawl in a hole and cry? That is me today. It feels like nobody knows who I really am nor do they care, despite how much I try to force yourself on them.
There are a lot of really ugly things going on in my family right now. I don’t know if I have some fantasy of what a family is supposed to be, but whatever it is it’s wrong. Don’t get me wrong I do have an amazing family. It’s just I guess I expect more out of them than I am getting. It makes me so angry, because I feel like they don’t care to know who I am. For example my writing is the most important thing in my life and most of them have only read my stuff when I have put them on the spot. I do have a few who do read them and actually encourage it, my Bubby, my cousin Jason who is more like a brother to me he’s constantly pushing me to write and post, and Jason’s wife Cathy, and my beautiful mama bear. That should be enough, but I am greedy I want to share my passion with everyone I love.
I need to get past my anger and be grateful that I do have four amazing pillars of support and encouragement. We offer up our fears to God we offer sadness, stress happiness pretty much everything. Can we offer up our anger? Will He take it even though it’s not of Him? I keep going to Ecclesiastes 7:9
“do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger resides in the bosom of fools” New American Standard Version
I am embarrassed by my behavior, but I don’t know how to hand it up to God. Or if he would even take it if I did. May I please ask for prayers of wisdom and stregth? Do you think God would accept it, if I did offer it up to Him?