I am so upset and frustrated!!!! I don’t understand why God would dangle healing in front of me just to pull the rug out from under me. I know He isn’t the one doing it, I just don’t understand it. I had a partial hysterectomy (everything but the ovaries) in September 2013. I thought I got my life back, I thought I was healed, I thought the pain was gone forever, I thought I’d never have to see narcotics again, I thought I’d never see birth control again. Of course, I thought wrong, on all accounts! That just goes to figure! This is just how my life goes, something good happens then poof! Everything unravels. This is so incredibly frustrating! The pain started well over a month ago. I got maybe 6 months, maybe, without pain after the surgery. We were hoping it was just my appendix, I know it sounds silly to hope for that, but the alternative (endometriosis) is far worse than a quick surgery and that’s it, no more pain. Now I am faced with who knows how long of pretty bad pain and stupid blankety blank pain pills. Which means my mind will be clouded so I won’t be able to write anything good. I know God has a plan for me I just wish I knew what it was or even to know that the pain will end soon, and not when I am dead. There is no light at the end if this miserable dark tunnel right now. I don’t even know. I am trying so hard to see any glimmer of hope in this, but I am coming up short. I am not trying to be depressing or grumpy I just needed to vent. Please pray that The Lord sees fit to lay His healing hand upon my body and mind. I don’t like being angry with Him. He has blessed me and everyone around me so much but it’s hard to see right now through the pain and anger. On a higher note I can go back to work today, only for a couple of hours and with the cane….but at least I can do something other than sitting around feeling sorry for myself. The pain and grumpyness is why I have been away for the last week sorry 😦 . God bless you and have a God filled day!
I am over this!